So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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