K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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