I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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