you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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