i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
