I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
