My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
