found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
