no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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