Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
