; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
