yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
