you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
