I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
