Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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