it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize