how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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