We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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