no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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