did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
