Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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