The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
