You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
