ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
