I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
