One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
