I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
