New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I look better un-naked...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
