I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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