I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My first STD was from a foam party
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
