If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
