video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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