He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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