I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
