Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
