so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
