the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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