I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
