there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and she was petting her beer can
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
