South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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