i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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