i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
