i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
