So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
