I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
