I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it because I queefed?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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