I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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