So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
