HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think your dad took our porno
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
