Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
