No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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