..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
