I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
