I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
