Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
