this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
