If i come over, it means nothing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its not stalking. its research.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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