He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did we literally take a cab across the street
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
