have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
