Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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