I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
