Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
